Thursday, December 20, 2018

blue-ish funk

So, it's the holidays.  Ho hum.  Not really feeling it, I have to admit.  Before Thanksgiving, I was all about hearing carols in stores and on the radio.  I was thinking about baking, decorating our house, putting up the tree - all the regular stuff lots of people do this time of year - with excitement and enthusiasm.  

Then I traveled to Oregon for surgery and, in part, a short vacation.  While I enjoyed my time in Portland quite a bit aside from, you know, pain and soreness related to anesthesia and an incision, I returned to Anchorage feeling decidedly not in the mood for merry making.  And I've been unable to shake it since which is troubling me a bit.  Decorations are up.  The tree has long been decorated.  Lights are around our big living room windows.  Christmas cards we've received are on display.  The mantle is chock full of candles and various holiday brick-a-brac.  Pine swags adorn the stair railing.  Hand made, intricately cut paper snowflakes are taped to our windows.  It's clearly festive in here.  I mean, the sun is actually shining today which is not really something we've seen a lot of in these last weeks.  So what gives?

Perhaps I'm being obtusely unaware of any deeper reason.  However, while recovering from surgery where my vitamin D and calcium levels are being closely monitored, I'm inclined to think this sort of blah attitude is directly related to this plus short hours of daylight (daylight being relative since we've been getting snow almost every day and the sky's color makes me feel like I'm living inside a golf ball).  

If you asked people of means here in Anchorage, I bet many of them are looking right past the holidays to their upcoming winter vacation somewhere far, far south of here like Mexico or the Caribbean or Hawaii because that is what lots of Alaskans do to shake the winter blues.  Every single year.  At least that is what I'm told.  They leave for a few weeks so the long winter nights don't seem to drag on for as many months.  They seek beaches and weather warm enough for bathing suits and sandals.  Sounds lovely.

So, what to do?  I'll take walks and encourage Tim to bake if only for the sweet aroma of his cookies.  I'll watch Christmas movies (even if that means going down the Hallmark channel rabbit hole).  I'll take my time wrapping presents to put them under the tree.  We'll plan a non-traditional holiday dinner to mix it up a bit.  I'll call my family back in New York on the day they all will gather to celebrate together.  I'll snoodle with our kitten as often as she'll let me.  I'll read the latest BrenĂ© Brown book that is now downloaded to my e-reader.  Last, I'll do my best to be mindful and practice gratitude for all of the positives in my life, of which there are so many.  

I think with that last sentence I'm already feeling a bit better, more in the spirit of the season.  

Happy holidays to whomever reads this blog.  May the remainder of 2018 and the year ahead be exceptional.